~merr-child

I'm getting back on my feet.

I've been trying to broaden my subject matter in an attempt to both step away from my grief as well as find new ways to help myself through it.

It's proving quite the journey, you can expect a strange mix of emotions behind my pieces for a while.

Thank you for the support and understanding; it is appreciated, even if stoically at times.

We were offered the chance to speak at my father's wake, and I wasn't going to speak, honestly didn't think people would be able to understand how I felt from a few words. Then my mother, my hand clutching hers, looked over to me and murmured, "You want to say something, Danielle?"

So I did: "The one thing my dad taught me, after all those first rough years of our relationship, was what it feels like to be forgiven, and to forgive. What unconditional love and forgiveness was."






It's hard for my friends to understand, I know.

Please don't be scared of me or the way I'm feeling. I know it's hard. I know I'm not always receptive of support; I know I can be a bitter pain in the ass. Just please stick with me. I know this tunnel has some sort of end, but I'm lost in the middle.

All I ask (and I know it can be a lot at times) is that you guys keep shouting down to me, and keep waiting for me to resurface.






My last thought is this: Make sure you tell the people you love the way you feel. And learn forgiveness. Life is too short, no matter how long or slow you might think it feels.

Hey, folks, it's been a while since I updated my journal, figured it was about time.

Finally decided on my major/minor, which is a relief; still rocking the job at Midtown Grocery and basically getting along.

Dad's still kicking, which is good. Still trying to wrestle with that, but I don't suspect it's going to be getting any easier.

Working on a couple tattoo concepts; that's coming along nicely. If you're interested in helping me put them down on paper, let me know.

I've been exploring some new subjects with my photography lately, so you might see some unusual stuff coming up. I'm pretty excited about it.

The writing's getting more and more personal (as well as more experimental), so if it starts making less sense, don't be surprised or worried, haha.

And above all, I'm still being reminded on a daily basis how great of a support system I have; thanks guys, it means a lot.

[EDIT!] So, I finally got the news back on Satori (the annual photography/poetry/prose showcase at my university). This year, five of my pieces made it in! I'm so excited. I'll be proud to give my dad a copy. <3

Here are the pieces if you're interested in checking them out~

[link] Coffee
[link] Sand In My Eyes
[link] Dirge
[link] Heart Just As Cunning
[link] Desperation

Things have been discordant lately.

Between my stepfather's non-winnable fight with cancer and the flood that washed through my hometown, I've been fighting a little harder than usual to keep firm footing.

I'm sure people have noticed a change in my attitude and some of my mannerisms, but survival is made of change, and I'm not going to apologize for it.

My deviations ground to a halt there for a while, but eventually that will start back up again.

I thank all of you that have been thinking of and supporting me, and those who remain-- you remind me to keep my fists up and shrug off the intimidation of seemingly impossible situations.

Hey everyone! ( Sorry about the title; I'm feeling pretty feisty. )

Well, I’ve decided that it’s time I do something. My moods have been all over the place since my Dad got diagnosed with cancer, and I haven’t been dealing with it very well.

Time to change all of that!

I’m starting to jog once a day, working on getting my sleep schedule set back to ‘Human’ and keeping myself busy with photography, writing, gardening and work.

So, as great as this all is, it does cut down on my internet time, so… sorry if you don’t get feedback from me right away. I’m not neglecting you guys~!

I know I’ve been a pain in the ass lately; either that, or I haven’t really talked to you that much. I’m trying to fix that too, so if you drop me a note or email or something, I’ll reply as fast as I can!

Take care, everyone, and I hope your summers are going fantastic!